idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
