Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
