i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
