Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
