She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize