is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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