Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
