I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
