He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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