I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
