i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize