I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
