tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize