somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I FOUND THE LEGS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
