I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
