How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
