# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
