I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
