so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
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This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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