I'm drive I can fine osifer
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
