Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
