he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
