All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
