do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
