she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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