My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
