ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
