Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's rum buckets o'clock
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
