i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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