"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
