we have pet lesbian snakes
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
