HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
