Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
where are my eyebrows?
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