The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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