you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize