White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
