SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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