i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
