Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
