I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The struggles of a small town man whore
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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