there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
