Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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