I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
