I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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