if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You made out with two different species that night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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