I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
