You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
