why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
