We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
