I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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