hell yes lets make some ravioli
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
