I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.