What should our trivia night team be named?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.