I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!