i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
