no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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