How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
