wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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