Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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  (516): She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot. http://tfl.nu/dkig
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (796)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I knew I fell for you for a reason

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  (570): just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on (908): I knew I fell for you for a reason http://tfl.nu/lpgl
  Replies (17) Good night (3464) Bad night (1068)
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  (845): View more from New York

  People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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  (845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf
  Replies (4) Good night (5691) Bad night (534)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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  (907): she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit. http://tfl.nu/38x3
  Replies (31) Good night (752) Bad night (5191)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.

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  (614): I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone. http://tfl.nu/g122
  Replies (24) Good night (9030) Bad night (1072)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today

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  (780): Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today http://tfl.nu/5plw
  Replies (4) Good night (3352) Bad night (951)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.

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  (407): There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture. http://tfl.nu/r7xe
  Replies (13) Good night (2110) Bad night (612)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.

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  (910): Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap. http://tfl.nu/jw87
  Replies (4) Good night (1324) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us 

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  (941): I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us  http://tfl.nu/54ii
  Replies (2) Good night (1259) Bad night (406)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.

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  (727): Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch. http://tfl.nu/2pha
  Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (515)
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  (310): View more from California

  I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"

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  (310): I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me" http://tfl.nu/p6et
  Replies (8) Good night (1640) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles

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  (+61): I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles http://tfl.nu/20ya
  Replies (3) Good night (1613) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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  (319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2
  Replies (5) Good night (1019) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

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  (262): She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor... (262): I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho. http://tfl.nu/4nj6
  Replies (8) Good night (1462) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave

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  (432): I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave http://tfl.nu/lzps
  Replies (7) Good night (434) Bad night (281)

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