just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?