PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
