Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.

(404): View more from Georgia

Who isn't?

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(770): Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims. (404): Who isn't? http://tfl.nu/hgp5

Replies (27) Good night (2924) Bad night (910)
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(305): View more from Florida

best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting

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(305): best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting http://tfl.nu/0qs3

Replies (9) Good night (2194) Bad night (620)
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(708): View more from Illinois

blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes

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(708): blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes http://tfl.nu/vynn

Replies (24) Good night (8208) Bad night (793)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.

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(808): I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils. http://tfl.nu/b8ey

Replies (10) Good night (1470) Bad night (3799)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.

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(505): he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment. http://tfl.nu/v3fi

Replies (11) Good night (4532) Bad night (930)
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(347): View more from New York

He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

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(347): He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones. http://tfl.nu/swc2

Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (2899)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D

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(902): This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D http://tfl.nu/3txw

Replies (15) Good night (2590) Bad night (1120)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.

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(317): I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck. http://tfl.nu/ppsw

Replies (10) Good night (1036) Bad night (1618)
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(407): View more from Florida

Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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(407): Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition. http://tfl.nu/erlj

Replies (3) Good night (1544) Bad night (674)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

(334): View more from Alabama

I stand by my new policy.

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(334): I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots. (334): I stand by my new policy. http://tfl.nu/bu7l

Replies (4) Good night (1443) Bad night (613)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.

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(410): Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea. http://tfl.nu/1cgp

Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (698)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.

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(678): Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/6dhe

Replies (9) Good night (1807) Bad night (746)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie

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(706): I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie http://tfl.nu/t5j0

Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (1049)
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(805): View more from California

I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.

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(805): I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible. http://tfl.nu/k9z2

Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (334)
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(909): View more from California

I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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(909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst

Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (289)

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