Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

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  (419): having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work http://tfl.nu/n6gj
  Replies (5) Good night (538) Bad night (4119)
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  (310): View more from California

  He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit

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  (310): He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit http://tfl.nu/vjau
  Replies (17) Good night (770) Bad night (5765)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet

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  (816): Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet http://tfl.nu/ftvp
  Replies (7) Good night (4636) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.

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  (330): now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before. http://tfl.nu/kk2m
  Replies (14) Good night (2640) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful

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  (414): I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful http://tfl.nu/jkok
  Replies (6) Good night (4053) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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  (970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g
  Replies (20) Good night (3261) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?

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  (907): good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy? http://tfl.nu/iaof
  Replies (10) Good night (792) Bad night (2419)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

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  (802): I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel. http://tfl.nu/xk67
  Replies (11) Good night (2027) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I won't apologize to a one balled man

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  (630): I won't apologize to a one balled man http://tfl.nu/49il
  Replies (9) Good night (707) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.

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  (607): Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun. http://tfl.nu/atlx
  Replies (6) Good night (604) Bad night (1893)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

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  (337): Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment. http://tfl.nu/4czr
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i might be a female sloth

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  (617): female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away (781): i think i might be a female sloth http://tfl.nu/d8fr
  Replies (5) Good night (1924) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.

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  (940): I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/nfq7
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (331): View more from Illinois

  Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!

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  (331): Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws! http://tfl.nu/1f2r
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.

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  (571): I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me. http://tfl.nu/vbgb
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (262)

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