I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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