i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
