sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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